IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'm Baaaaaaaaaaack!!!

It's been over a year since I've posted anything, and so much has happened since then. So I've decided to start over. New layout, new title, new me.

Recently I got a Bulldog from a rescue. Her name is Allie and her personality is bigger than the both of us. I absolutely love this dog, and if things keep up the way they have lately, she may be all I have for a while. The other day I was listening to an interview with Adele on my way to work, when asked if she had a significant other she simply stated "No. I have my dog, and no man can ever love me as much as my dog does." Boy, is that one true.

The following tales will be those of my new life with Allie. I'm sure there will be days when I have something to say that has absolutely nothing to do with my four-legged friend, but I imagine she will play a large roll in this blog. Enjoy! [This is more of a suggestion than a demand. I am well aware of the fact that not everyone will enjoy reading about my life. If you don't like it, don't read it! :)]

 

 My little squish-faced lover... isn't she a beaut!?

My Subconscious Mind Is Not My Friend.

Have you ever woke up with that warm, glow-ey feeling that when you roll over you will be staring into the face of someone you care for, just to be hit with the reality that you have just spent yet another night alone? Suddenly you’re jolted back into reality and you can’t help but consider yourself pathetic.

It’s not easy to get used to sleeping alone again, it seems like it takes ages… what I don’t understand though, is when you have been sleeping alone so long that the sting of it finally dissipates, and you actually learn to appreciate it. Then one morning, out of the freaking blue, your mind says “ Hey! Remember what this used to feel like?! Wasn’t it great?!”

I’m sure you’ve figured this out by now, but I experienced this phenomenon this morning… Although I’m finally beginning to truly question my sanity since no one I asked could honestly say “Oh yeah, I’ve been there before…” I still believe that someone else out there has experienced the horrible, gut wrenching loneliness that arises after that happy little delusion your mind has created for you.

What’s worse is when that moment of bliss followed by utter confusion is in one of those instances where you could seriously use the comfort of that other person. Like when you have a totally twisted and depressing dream and you just want someone to wrap themselves around you and reassure you that it wasn’t real.

I understand that some day I will again have the comfort of knowing someone is there for me through the night, but why can't my subconscious mind accept the same? I have finally become comfortable in my own skin. I no longer need someone to constantly reassure me that I am okay, but for some reason the dreaming me thought otherwise this morning.

I have officially come to the conclusion that my subconscious mind has proclaimed itself my enemy. So begins the new battle between dreams and reality… Aren’t my dreams already jacked up enough as it is???

I’m Sorry

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, and I’m sorry for that. The good news is after two whole days of driving and a lonely night in a creepy hotel, I made it safely to FL.

Once I get all settled into my new home and job I promise I will start posting again… I also think I have to change the name of the blog :/ But we will discuss that later!

ZOMBIEEESSSS!!!!!

Last night I had an absolutely horrific dream nightmare. It started out alright, we were throwing a going away party for someone and I had to run out to my car to get my Skittles (I don't know why it was so important that I got my Skittles, but whatever...) and on my way to my car I noticed how incredibly windy it was. So I start booking it back to the building, which turns out to be the elementary school I went to, and I get to the side door, pull it open, and start screaming for everyone to get inside. Next we start climbing up these super steep, twisty stairs, and we're all carrying small children. I look up to see this tree surrounded by a cloud of smoke, as if it was on fire, but it wasn't. Then we notice everyone running around outside (including children) has pistols. Next thing I know everyone is shooting everything they see. I literally sat there and watched one kid (and I'm talking like 7 or 8 years old) shoot down two others and then shoot himself in the head. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!? 

Now here comes the freaky part.


I'm sitting in the living room of my apartment with two guys, and I remember that the one to my right has a toddler. So I ask him where his son is and he tells me he left him in his apartment on the first floor, "don't worry, he should be fine." I tell the man he's f*cking crazy to leave his kid in an apartment alone when there are people running around killing each other for no reason at all, ESPECIALLY if he lives on the first floor! (Like that actually matters.) Right as I realize that the other guy left my front door open I look up to see an effing ZOMBIE walk in and demand that we all get down on the ground as he aims his gun at us. So I start running for the bathroom because I remember "Hey! I've played this game before! That chick is in the bathroom with a gun!" and sure enough, she was. So we shoot down the zombie and we all decide to go for a ride and try to escape the zombies. 


The rest of this horrific dream entails our many battles with zombie freaks who try to eat us, to include me having to hold one down as my friend cut out it's heart because me slicing off it's head with a steak knife wasn't enough to kill the bastard. As I'm laying on top of the zombie's back and my friend is chopping away, all I can do is sit there and stare at the hole in it's back, watching my friend saw at the arteries and veins while blood is gushing out of it's neck. 


After what seemed like a decade of running from zombies, hiding in elevators, saving small children, and begging my friend to get a car with bullet-proof windows so we would be safer, I finally woke up. Kind of.


Have you ever experienced that state between asleep and awake, where you are completely conscious and aware of your surroundings but you can't move your body? Ugh, I hate that. Anyway, it took me a minute to get out of that state, and the entire time I was in it all I could think was the damn zombies were gonna get me if I didn't move soon.


After regaining function of my body, followed by a nearly sleepless night, I came to the conclusion that if the zombies come I'm just going to go ahead and kill myself. F*ck trying to fight those sneaky little bastards off!!!

Fred the Onion Boy

I once dated a guy, we will call him Fred. Fred was a super nice guy. He made me dinner, bought me roses, and treated me super well. Fred was a vegetarian, which I have no problem with. He was also very accepting of the fact that I choose to be completely carnivorous.


There was only one problem with Fred, and that was his love for onions. He ate them with EVERYTHING, so much so that the smell of onion permeated from his pores. At first I thought "this is no big deal, I can look past this," but if you know anything about me, it's how much I truly despise onions. My hate for onions began to outweigh all of the awesome things about Fred, like the roses, the dinners, and all of the lovely things he said to me. All I could think was onion, onion, onion. Just sitting next to him watching a movie I could smell it. He would kiss me and I could taste it.


Needless to say, my time with Fred the Onion Boy was short-lived. I still think he is a great person, and will someday make another onion lover very, very happy, but unfortunately for us things had to end. Of course, the onions weren't the only cause for our demise, but they were definitely a factor in the final decision.

Fantastic Day *Edited*

Today I got what I wished for... I got my big kid job! I will be moving back to FL by the end of this month to work back at the OB/Gyn clinic on base. I couldn't be more excited! ALSO, my new computer came in today!!! YES. On top of that, my new bad ass water bottle should get here today. Man... this is a good day.


I'm way to excited and distracted by my new computer to keep writing... more tomorrow...?

**EDIT**

My water bottle didn't show. This makes me very sad, but I'm hopeful that it shows today. :D

I want a REAL job!!! D':

I have officially decided I don't want to be a waitress anymore. This shit sucks. People are already crappy tippers, and to add to it I work in a college town. DIRECTLY across the street from the college. So it's like, "Tips? What are those?!" Then you get nights like tonight where you have a 12-top and they only order drinks. Then they sit there aaaaaalllllllllll night, until closing. So not only do you not make any money off of them, you can't seat anyone else in your section because they 12-top is taking it up.


This was not intended to be a bitchfest. However, I don't remember what I was originally planning on writing tonight, so this is what you get. I'm sorry.